Why Can't We Let Go?
by catcheramour
Summary: Have you ever had a crazy, intense, immediate attraction to someone? The second you met them, something was different. You couldn’t put your finger on what it was, but nevertheless, it was instant, intense, and undeniable. Bella ... meet Edward.
1. Instant Attraction

Instant Attraction.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I complained as I ceremoniously threw open the door of my apartment. Just an hour before I had been hanging out with the guy I had been dating. Honestly, I was never really that interested. We were from the same town – transplanted 1,000 miles away from what was familiar to go to school, so we bonded over that. After the second date, I knew it would never go anywhere. I called my roommate, Alice, and begged her to come up with some kind of "emergency" to get me out of being at Mike's. Was it seriously too much to ask to find a guy who was good looking, ambitious and could string together at least four words to create a sentence? I mean. I didn't think I was asking for too much. Four words isn't much.

I was so frustrated over the situation that I didn't even notice someone new sitting in our apartment. Alice had been with Jasper since high school. They fought like cats and dogs, but underneath it all, they loved each other unconditionally and were made for one another. Emmett was there. He was as impossible to read as Latin was for me to understand (and Lord knows I tried.) He and Alice were best friends, and he was always hanging around. But tonight there was another person. He was the most attractive man I had ever seen. I had never felt anything so instant in my life.

"How was work, Bella?" Alice asked me as I sat down.

"Stellar. Beyond stellar." I laughed. I worked at hotel. Most days I was on the verge of quitting. But, it paid pretty well, and in college, that is all that matters.

"And, I take it Mike is out?" She teased. I dated. A lot – I really liked boys. I kind of had a tendency to go through them, but my mom said that as long as I didn't go too far with them, there was nothing wrong with that.

"Oh, ya know. He's my soul mate." I spat back. The pizza in my lap and the football on the TV was not helping the way it usually did.

That was when I heard him laugh. He was even more attractive when he smiled (if that was possible.)

"Hi, I'm Edward." He said, holding out his hand. It had been a long time since a guy shook my hand. It was usually just my parent's friends. It seemed so formal, so adult to me. I was only twenty, and something about older guys had always appealed to me. It has never been a secret that success is a turn-on, and Edward seemed to ooze it.

"Hi … Bella." I said quietly. There was something there. The pity party I had just thrown for myself in front of him immediately embarrassed me. I then realized I was soaking wet. I had forgotten that snow melts, then has the same basic effect that rain has. Only, it's colder. Way colder. Living in Pennsylvania was not my idea of a good time. Pittsburgh was full of good schools, and I was definitely getting my money's worth out of my education, but this cold and snow thing is for the birds. I love the heat. And the beach. Snow is fun for a few days, but by March I am ready for it to peace out and leave us be.

The rest of the night passed without incident. They all played euchre (some Mid-West garbage I never got in to. Can you tell I resented my parents for moving me here when I was 16?) and I watched football. Around 1 am, the boys left and I went to bed hopeful.


	2. Dude, stop blowing in my ear

"Dude, stop blowing in my ear!"

I've never felt extraordinary. I have what people tell me is beautiful hair, dark brown, thick and wavy. I have brown eyes, very deep, "soulful" eyes. However, somehow, when they all combine on my face, these beautiful features all seem to cancel each other out and I fade into the background. To be honest, that's how I like it. Well, how I liked it, until I met Edward. How did I get him to notice me? Alice told me we were having a party that night … more like a small get together. Beer pong, some flip cup. And a lot of Guitar Hero. What else are you supposed to do when a blizzard is coming? My heart immediately skipped a beat. I really didn't feel like being teased about having a crush on Edward, but I was dying to know if he was coming. I was giddy over him. Literally the definition of a little schoolgirl. Over the moon over someone I had just met. Even for a girl who liked boys as much as I did, this was a very, very different feeling for me.

"So, uh. Who all is coming?" I asked and Alice and I put our make-up on that evening. I had been trying all day to casually ask if Edward would be showing up.

"The usual suspects, I suppose. Steve, Eric, Emmett."

"What about Emmett's friend? He seemed like he would enjoy a good party."

"Bell … you liked him, didn't you? Have you chosen your next victim?" she teased.

"Hey, hey. They should be honored that I even notice them."

"_OH! We're half way there … OH-OH Livin' on a prayer!"_ Alice's phone started ringing.

"Bells … it's Emmett."

"Put it on speaker phone?" I asked.

"Hey Alice … whats up?" Emmett's voice came through the phone.

"Not much, just getting ready. When will you be here?"

"Um … on my way now. Dude – Edward, stop blowing in my ear!!" He laughed. Alice looked at me and my heart skipped a beat.

"He's coming!!!" I mouthed to her.

"Awesome, well just uh, hurry up. We're ready to get silly."

As she hung up the phone I started to do a little happy dance. He was coming. My giddiness escalated even more. She looked at me and smiled, I think she could tell the difference, too.

About fifteen minutes later Emmett came barreling through the door, Edward in tow. I couldn't bring myself to leave the bathroom yet. I had changed outfits about one hundred and fifty two times. I ended up in jeans, a white shirt and brown boots. My standard uniform. Alice kept coming back to the bathroom, trying to pull me out of there. I tried to convince her I wasn't done doing my hair, or make-up. She told me that was crap and to get my butt out there and entertain our guests. When I finally appeared I noticed it was a pretty good crowd. Jasper had make the long trek from his apartment next door, Joe was there. All the makings of an unforgettable night. And of course there was Edward. Was it possible that he had grown even MORE attractive over night?

As I walked through the living room, I tried to catch his eye … it kind of seemed like a lost cause. He was playing euchre (again) with some of the other guys there, so I made a beeline for the kitchen to get a drink. It was then that Alice and I were informed that we were missing one very, very crucial aspect of beer pong – the ever famous SOLO party cups. I had to have a chance to talk to her anyway, so we announced that we were stepping out to get some cups, and that Jasper would be holding down the fort – it was practically his place anyway. Lord knows he was there enough.

When we got to my car the snow had already started coming. It was going to get pretty nasty.

"How do we get Edward to stay tonight?" Alice asked as we left the store.

"Ha, um. We want him to?"

"WE don't want him to. YOU want him to. Bells, seriously. There is a different twinkle in your eye over this guy. I haven't seen it before. It's different, and you know that as well as I do."

I wasn't really sure how to respond. I generally wasn't that easy to read. I liked to keep things closed in … it was just easier to not get hurt that way.

"Here's what I was thinking…" she finally said when she realized I wasn't going to respond to her comments. "It's snowing like mad out here. But I think we should tell them it's fine, that the snow hasn't hit. Then, if they're even sober enough to leave, they won't be able to because they won't plow the roads for awhile anyway."

I had to hand it to her … she was good. Together we were a pretty unstoppable force. Our plots almost always worked. This one seemed pretty solid, he just had to notice me first.

**ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS TONIGHT. ITS PARTY TIME !!**

**It'll be longer, and its when the fun starts happening !!**


	3. I'm going to distract you

I'm Going To Distract You.

"AND THE CUPS HAVE ARRIVED!" Alice and I shouted as we fell through the door. We giggled the entire car ride about how cute I thought Edward was. We had cemented plans for her to claim Emmett as her pong partner, and since Jasper was pretty deep in a euchre game, it only made sense that Edward would be my partner. It was odd to have to remind myself to breath. He did this half smile thing. I honestly didn't understand how everyone in the room didn't melt at the sight of it. I still only knew his name, but I knew I was falling. I was a lost cause.

Usually beer pong is my downfall. My aim is crap, and I usually start laughing so hard in the middle of every game that I can't throw the ball straight anyway. And it was already taking every ounce of concentration I had not to turn all of my focus and attention to the God of a man standing next to me.

"Donny … it's your turn." I said quietly, smirking a little. I couldn't help it. Just looking at him made me smile.

"It's Edward." He laughed as he threw and missed the cups.

"I'm well aware of what your name is, Donny." He looked at me like I had ten heads. I threw the ball and sank a cup. Maybe tonight was my lucky night …

The game continued in the same way. Playful comments between the two of us, him missing his cups, then me making mine. I still couldn't read what he was feeling. And then …

"Seriously, Bella. How do you keep making all of these? Maybe if I stand where you are?" and with that he stepped between my back and the counter, pressing himself up against me and holding his arm up over my shoulder to throw the ball. "What do you think?" he whispered in my ear. "Think you're just standing in a lucky spot?" He threw the ball and sank the cup. "Must be where you're standing…." He whispered again and gave my side a little squeeze as he stepped back to where he had been standing.

I wasn't prepared for how it made me feel. I mean, I felt like I had been hit by a lightning bolt when he shook my hand, but this? I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I ever had the chance to kiss him.

Having noticed our little exchange, Alice caught my eye and gave me her most enthusiastic smile. I guess it was promising, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had before with guys, only to be disappointed. And Edward wasn't someone I wanted to have disappoint me.

… We lost the beer pong game miserably. It was pretty shameful, but I could honestly say it wasn't my fault. I nailed almost every cup. It was all Edward.

"How about trying something where I can actually beat you?" he said as we handed our spot at the table over to someone else.

"I would really love to see you try. What've you got?" I laughed.

"Guitar Hero. I will own you." He said as he picked up the guitar.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, lets see what you've got. I pick the song. Um … lets go with 'Paint It Black' because I know I will kick your ass."

"Five stars" he grinned at the end of the song. "Your turn." The song started, and as I usually did on this song, I wasn't missing a note. "So not fair." I heard him mumble. Then I heard him laugh.

"This just can't happen. I'm going to see if I can distract you."

"No chance." But if I thought I was toast before, I wasn't at all prepared for what happened next.

My breath caught as I felt his warm breath on the back of my neck. Was this really happening?

"Uh… now. Ha, um. That's just not fair there, Edward. Not even, um … not even a little bit." Oh wow. He kissed my neck. My body was screaming to kiss him, but I wanted to be the stubborn person I am and prove to him that he couldn't, and wouldn't, distract me from kicking his ass. He continued breathing on the back of my neck … kissing it, smelling my hair. Okay … he wins.

He didn't even let me put the guitar down before he full on kissed me.

I had always thought it was super hokey when people talked about fireworks. Instant sparks. I dated plenty, but I rarely got serious with any of them. I went on dates, kissed them, and then that was usually it. The whole concept of love, especially love at first sight, we beyond me. Ever since my parents split up, I wasn't entirely sure I even believed in love … until I met Edward.

"Donny, what're you doing?" I said, breaking the kiss. I needed air. To be completely honest, I needed air the second he kissed me. It was overwhelming. My fingertips burned. I literally felt like exploding. What were these feelings? I wish I knew how to make sense of them. I wanted to run and tell Alice, but I didn't want to leave his arms. I was so happy everyone had disappeared into the kitchen to watch the beer pong tournament that was forming. From that moment on, I knew I wanted Edward. And only Edward.

"Why do you keep calling me Donny?" he was looking at me like I had ten heads again.

"I have my reasons." Was all I could manage before I had to kiss him again. His smile was completely irresistible. I still new nothing about him, not even his last name.

The moment was broken a few minutes later when I heard my name being called in to the kitchen. I swear I was going to kill Alice if she had seen any of what had just happened and thought it was a good idea to break me away from him anyway.  
I walked in to the kitchen in a daze, Edward following closely behind. As he made his way over to Emmett, Alice came bounding over.

"OMG Bells! You never cease to amaze me. Do you always get what you want?" She squealed.

"Sh! He'll hear you … he's basically perfect, isn't he?" Oh man. I was screwed.

"Round two, in the living room." He whispered in my ear as he walked by me. Oh man, I was in for a long night.

Three very failed attempts at trying to play Guitar Hero, and by failed I mean, we got distracted doing far more exciting things. My phone was dying and I was waiting for a friend to call who was supposed to come over (but I highly doubted she would. It was basically a blizzard out there.) As I made my way to my bedroom I heard him follow me. Thank Goodness I had cleaned … I was not exactly the worlds neatest person.

"So … this is where you crash at night, huh?"

"Uh … yeah." I was instantly very nervous about the fact that he was in my room. He started looking around.

"Who are all these people?" He pointed to the pictures around my room.

"Oh, that's my photography. I used to babysit for her … and that's my best friend from high school." I pointed out all of the pictures I had taken, and he seemed genuinely impressed.

"So. Tell me about yourself, Edward. I don't know anything about you."

He took a step closer to me and put his hand on my face. "Well, I graduated from Pitt a few years ago. I work in computers … nothing that easy to explain. I didn't even totally get it until they trained me. Um … I love Dave Matthews Band. I love roller coasters. I don't know – I'm not real great at this question and answer thing."

With that he started kissing me again. I wanted him to stay the night, but I wasn't totally sure how to bring it up. I mean, I didn't want to do anything more than kiss him yet. I wasn't that kind of girl. But I really really liked the thought of falling asleep next to him.


	4. Got a Sharpie?

"Got a Sharpie?"

The rest of that night kind of passed in a blur. The drunker we got, the better the idea of him staying with me seemed. Alice promised me that as long as we didn't do anything I'd regret in the morning, then I had nothing to worry about. We knew our boundaries. He knew I wouldn't do anything other than kiss him tonight. Everyone kind of thought I was loose because of my dating tendencies, but those who knew me knew that to get anywhere beyond kissing, you had to be pretty special. I had no qualms with telling a guy no.

Around 1 am, Edward and I poured ourselves in to my bed. 1 am was hardly a record at our apartment, but for someone who had to be at work by 7 am, I was already pushing it. I felt like I fit with him. Lying there snuggled up against him., my body seemed to fit perfectly in his. My breath hitched when I felt him bury his face in the back of my neck, showering me with kisses, taking in the smell of my hair. It was almost like he was trying to remember every inch of me.

"Your skin is so soft." He whispered in my ear as he left a burning trail of kisses across my back. I was pretty sure this was heaven. My personal heaven.

"Tell me about yourself, Bella." He said after a few minutes of silence. It was barely audible, and it gave me chills.

"Um. I grew up in the southwest. The weather there is way better than here. My family means the world to me. My parents separated, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around, but that's life, I suppose. Um, I love my photography. It's a hobby I don't make nearly enough time for, but I'm working on it. I love school, I'm studying history. Um… man. Now you're putting me on the spot. I've gotta know – how old are you?"

Yes, I know. I was laying in bed with a guy I barely knew – I didn't even know his age. Or his last name for that matter. Awesome, Bella. Way to go.

"I'm … thirty one." He laughed. I immediately threw the bullshit flag.

"Let me see that ID." I said, turning to face him. He paused for a second before reaching for his wallet. Who knew guys were so weird about their age?

"Okay, lets see. Edward Masen Cullen … born November 21 ... 1982. So, you're 25. Almost 26."

"Nope," he said defensively. "I am solidly 25. Don't go tacking on any extra days or months, there."

Touchy, touchy, I thought. "Okay, Peter Pan. You're solidly 25." I said with a laugh. It was impossible to not find everything about him totally endearing. I had been kissing him all night and yet, it still sent electric jolts through my body.

By 5 am, I was exhausted, and dreading waking up in an hour, but I didn't want to stop talking to him. At 6 am, my alarm rang – it was time to take a shower.

"UGH! I don't want to go to work." I complained as I turned the beeping off. I looked out the window, there was a solid two feet of snow on the ground. "Looks like it's a good thing you boys stayed here last night."

"A very good thing …" he said, pulling me back on the bed to kiss me. Yup, I was in heaven.

I finally peeled myself out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. It was definitely torture to have him in my bed, knowing that I had to leave. He teased me that I would fall over and hit my head and work because I was so tired – the night was well worth any injury I might acquire though, of that I was completely sure.

On my way back from the bathroom I noticed that the guy sleeping in Alice's room was not Jasper. "Oh man" I sighed. Emmett had always kind of had a think for Alice, but she was solidly with Jasper. That would never change. So he sat and hoped, completely in vain, that maybe one day, he'd get his chance. "This isn't good ..." I said aloud.

"What isn't?" Edward said, walking up and kissing me on the head, he turned and followed my eye line. "Oh. Ha. Uh. I'm going to be hearing about this one for months." Apparently everyone knew about Emmett's crush. What I didn't understand was why Alice would think it was a good idea to fall asleep with Emmett in her bed knowing his feelings for her.

"Hey, Edward … his shoes are on. He's fair game." I laughed. Hey, rules are rules. Alls fair in love and war, and this was our form of war.

"Got a Sharpie?"


	5. College rules

**Sorry I didn't update like I usually do over the weekend!! My kitten had to get fixed and then he cut his leg open on some broken glass he managed to find and had to get stitches, so its been a crazy weekend !! Anyway … here's a short chapter (my apologies on how short) and I PROMISE you'll get a longer one tonight or tomorrow.**

College rules.

We were like little kids drawing all over Emmett. He would not be pleased when he woke up, but hey, it wasn't our fault that he passed out with his shoes on. There are rules that must be followed in college. Not rules like you have at your parent's house. No curfews, no one ordering you to finish your vegetables. Nope, here in the great world of college land, there are rules like you have to finish your drink, spills must be licked up (towels just won't do) and the most important rule of all that a lot of people tend to forget is NEVER pass out with your shoes on. If you do, your friends are free to draw whatever they like on your face, body, wherever. And then, it is the duty of your friends to document this as many times as possible. Ah, yes. College.

After about fifteen minutes of giggly and drawing inappropriate things and words all over him, Alice woke up. I think she literally had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. Then we watched the shock set in. She was in bed with Emmett. Not Jasper. Jasper was sleeping alone in his bed next door.

"We'll talk later," I whispered as I walked out of the room. I was running so late for work, and the billion feet of snow on my car wasn't going to help me get there any sooner.

"So … I have to go to work now…" I turned to him, not entirely sure of what to say. "You can just go back in my room and crash for awhile. No use in both of us totally missing out on sleep." I looked up at him and couldn't believe that he had managed to make me fall so quickly. We had talked literally all night. He told me all about his family, his friends, growing up in Cleveland. How he lived for the city-life, but couldn't wait to settle in to something more stable.

I felt kind of cheesy as I tucked him back in to my bed, and had to ignored the little voice in my head that told me to call off work. I kissed his head and he pulled me down to kiss me. Every time I tried to leave, he'd grab a hold of my hand and pulled me back to kiss me. Again, and again. One more time, and then just one more time … I don't think you could have wiped the grin off my face if you tried.


End file.
